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I met my gorgeous band of women today for our monthly business/life support session. We met through wedding and photography related work years back now, and became firm friends, and now I couldn’t do without their breath of fresh air, love and friendship. They are mirrors, cheerleaders, shoulders to cry on, fire lighters and inspirations all in their own rights.

And today I got whipped back into shape. Splurged it out and let our discussion flow back and forwards as it always does, warm like the tide. Until the answer that feels right for me is right there in front of me, as if it always had been, ready for some attention.

Right now, I need time for me.

I need to make that plan that is structured but flexible enough to not feel like a cage

I need to set more loving boundaries to get the things I need, so I can be the example for doing this, that I so crave to be

I need to create and write out raw honest truths

That this is not narcissistic

That I will stop waiting for time. There is no time. There is enough time. Whichever way I think about it, the blunt answer is I’ve just got to do it. Not wait for the perfect time. Something I already know, but advice to which I feel so hard pushed to follow when I’m so utterly tired most of the time.

So,

Writing it out makes it real

I will write in any spare moment I have when the feeling takes me. Not wait for the night, for the time, for the space

I will listen to what my body and mind is telling me. Before I crash.

I can love with all my heart but still make space for the things I need. It’s the only way to show them they can do this too as they grow.

I will stay connected to those souls who truly lift me up. That those relationships deserve time and energy and everything else is just noise.

My choices. My intentions. My responsibilities. My life.

Nothing has to be perfect. Small steps every day. That is the way forward.

Small small, onward, onward. Grow. Bend, Change, Relax, Flow.

Be. But make it work.

 

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